Sunday, January 19, 2014

On the continuing process of conversion

All Christians are called to be holy. We are all called to be saints. To do that, we must be able to listen to God's call as Samuel did. We must not only hear His voice, but listen to Him. During Father's homily today, he said that we cannot do what we want to do and just assume that this is what God is calling us to do. Frequently what we are called to do is not something that immediately looks attractive to us. We must listen to Him and discern what He is calling us to do. We must become holy.

That's quite a challenge. It's impossible on our own, but through the grace of Christ in us, we can. We're given three examples in the readings today of people who accepted this call to holiness- Jesus (as prophesied in Isaiah), Paul and John the Baptist.

It's interesting to think about the time required for Paul to live out his vocation after he was called. The time between his conversion and the start of his ministry was certainly a time of profound growth and preparation for him. In other words- even when he was changed in an instant, time was required for him to truly become who he was called to be. 

I've done a lot of growing, a lot of changing in the last two years. But those changes were all written on my heart two years ago. It's taken me two years to follow through, to actually change my life. It hasn't happened in a single moment, and I'm not done growing and changing. My conversion is not complete. 

The word conversion is defined to be "the act or an instance of converting or the process of being converted". A synonym for conversion is changing. Conversion then isn't ended in a moment. It continues as we further let Christ into our lives as we offer Him more of ourselves and in turn receive more of Him. 

So for the moment, I'm stuck. I don't know what He's calling me to do. And it's a little terrifying to even consider. I was listening to a sermon on discernment and vocation today and it said that if you aren't challenged by your vocation, then it's probably not the right one. That seems about right- life doesn't get easier just because we're on the "right path". It certainly didn't get easier for John the Baptist or Paul. To be filled with joy and peace despite the troubles and struggles of life. To be certain in what you are doing. To be holy.

We sang this song at church today. It's always been one of my favorites. The music isn't fantastic. The lyrics at times are a bit over the top (I am your song... too much). And I find it to be a little stuck in time... not the timeless type of music I usually prefer. But it's a heartfelt and prayer-filled song that always moves me. 


What do you want of me, Lord? Where do you want me to serve you? Where can I sing your praises? I am your song.

Jesus, Jesus, you are my Lord. Jesus, Jesus, you are the way.

I hear you call my name, Lord, and I am moved within me. Your Spirit stirs my deepest self. Sing your songs in me.

Jesus, Jesus, you are my Lord. Jesus, Jesus, you are the way.

Above, below, and around me, before, behind, and all through me, your Spirit burns deep within me.
Fire my life with your love.

Jesus, Jesus, be the warmth of my heart. Jesus, Jesus, you are the way.

You are the light in my darkness. You are my strength when I’m weary. You give me sight when I’m blinded. Come see for me.

Jesus, Jesus, you are my Light. Jesus, Jesus, you are the way.

I am your song and servant, singing your praise like Mary. Surrendered to your Spirit, "Let it be done to me."

Jesus, Jesus, "Let it be done to me." Jesus, Jesus, you are the way.

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